Sometimes it all hurts but makes sense. Sometimes it captures my soul and tosses it around like a wounded sock puppet amidst a violent wash cycle. Nonsense is my bread and butter. Now and forever more. But beyond it all is a shiny facade. Something akin to a shiny new nickel. A nickel. I wish I lived in the era when a nickel was considered to be a hell of a lot of money. Hell, I wish I lived in an era when one dollar went further than any moon landing. Hope? Wishes? Yes, these are things I desire. These are things I know we all desire. Desires are fickle bastards! Just when you think you’ve done away with them more are born and begin to eat away at your mind.
If I were to truly abandon society… would I miss it? Would it miss me? I suppose it wouldn’t really matter; even if I tried to make it matter. I can hear solitude calling out to me on a daily basis. Maybe I’m hearing things but maybe not. Maybe I analyze too much but maybe not. My countenance is mine and no one else’s.
I tell nothing that hasn’t been told before by many. I write nothing that hasn’t been written before by many. I suppose I could be called one of the few who chooses not to hide behind metaphors and parables. Most would consider this to be a grave problem or disease. But I do not; not at all.
For instance, the other day I was making myself a ham sandwich and became mesmerized by the amount of visible grains in the bread. It was supposed to be one of those “heart smart” loaves of which I believe aren’t as smart as they would have us believe. I mean… grain in bread! Who would have thought we’d see the day?
Don’t even get me started on all the lean meats being pushed in the stores these days.
What I write here I write it for a specific purpose. A “goal” if you will. Smell it. Taste it. Otherwise someone else will grab it up. My heart and brain is a jumble. You’d think they know enough to know that they must be connected and intertwined with one another but alas they do not.
One cosmically ordered scenario cannot and should not take precedence over another. Though, it is quite difficult to imagine this. Because it is inescapable.
I wonder how much longer it will be until we finally colonize the Moon. Or have we already?