Goosebumps Movie Review 

​When I was a kid, during the good old 1990s, I was completely hooked on the Goosebumps series by R.L. Stine! I went through the books like Pez. (Pez candy was another thing I was hooked on in the 90s.)
If this movie had been made back then I definitely would’ve watched it over a hundred times in a row. That’s not to say I don’t like it at all.
Zach (Dylan Minnette) reluctantly moves to a small town with his mom but then quickly cheers up after meeting his next door neighbor’s beautiful daughter, Hannah (Odeya Rush). He starts hanging out with her regularly until her father puts a stop to it. Of course, this just motivates Dylan to sneak into their house and attempt to “rescue” Hannah from her strict father.
He then comes upon an entire bookcase filled with original Goosebumps manuscripts and realizes that Hannah’s father is in fact the infamous R.L. Stine (Jack Black). Unfortunately, by then it’s too late because the first of many creatures/monsters has been released and begins terrorizing the town.
Zach, Zach’s friend Champ, Hannah, and R.L. Stine then spend the rest of the movie trying to figure out how to get all of Stine’s creations back into their respective books. Which turns out to be easier said than done.
I really enjoyed watching all of the monsters and creatures run amuck. It definitely brought back some cool childhood memories of reading about them. Some of my favorites include: The Abominable Snowman, Slappy, The Werewolf of Fever Swamp, and the enormous praying mantis from Shocker on Shock Street. 
Jack Black gives a decent performance as R.L. Stine but I don’t know why in some scenes he spoke with a terrible snooty British accent. Unless, that’s just his way of trying to inject some classic Black humor into the movie.
Overall, the Goosebumps movie makes for a very enjoyable and nostalgic experience. I only wish I had seen it in 3D when it was still in theaters. Hopefully, I’ll be able to do so whenever the sequel comes out.
On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give the Goosebumps movie 8 tasty tamales! 😎

Sully Movie Review

Sully is an okay movie about an actual harrowing event that took place back in 2009 in New York City.

Captain Chesley Sullenberg safely landed a commercial airliner on the Hudson river. None of the 155 passengers aboard sustained more than minor scrapes and bruises.

I was somewhat surprised that this real life event was adapted into a full length movie. Not because it doesn’t deserve to be retold but because there isn’t a whole lot that most people don’t already know about.

The recreation of the actual event is very suspenseful and heart-wrenching. Tom Hanks also gives a great performance as Captain Sully. Unfortunately, everything else just seemed like it was stretched out in order to justify a one hour and thirty six minute run time.

If you like movies based on actual events you might like this one.

On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give Sully 8 tamales! 😎

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Midnight Special Movie Review

Midnight Special isn’t your typical scifi movie but that’s what makes it so awesome!

Alton is a young boy who possesses special powers that frighten and amaze most people. He was born and raised within a very strict religious cult that became convinced he was some kind of prophet and/or savior. His father, Roy Tomlin (Michael Shannon), never believed such nonsense and eventually decides to kidnap his own son in order to take him back to where he truly belongs.

Of course, the NSA/US Government quickly learns of Alton’s other worldly abilities and believes that if they can catch him they can then use him for various military purposes.

I wish I could describe the plot further but doing so would mean revealing way too much way too soon. Just trust me when I say that the ending is very intriguing and not at all what you’d expect.

If you’re a fan of well written scifi thrillers then you’ll definitely enjoy it.

On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give Midnight Special 8 spicy tamales! 😎

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The Shallows Movie Review

Release Date:
June 24, 2016

Rated:
PG-13

Medical student Nancy Adams (Blake Lively) travels to a secluded beach for some much needed solace. Despite the dangers of surfing alone, she decides to throw caution to the wind and surfs to her heart’s content.

Suddenly, a great white shark attacks and gravely injures her left leg. She then quickly swims and climbs onto a small island of rocks. There she remains for three days until finally hatching a plan to save herself.

I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. Sure, the story could’ve benefited from a little more character development but Blake Lively still gives a pretty great performance. It’s also chock full of suspense and shark attack awesomeness!

On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give The Shallows 8 spicy tamales! 😎

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Suicide Squad Movie Review (Spoiler Free) by Madman Rants

Suicide Squad is a good first attempt at a movie that stars and focuses on comic book villains. It is not total crap like some reviewers have claimed.

I really didn’t have high expectations before watching it. Though, I do consider myself a pretty big DC Comics fan and I was already familiar with the basic story of the Suicide Squad. More than anything else I was interested in seeing a live action version of this group of bad guys on the big screen.

The Squad consists of more than one psychopath but none of them are crazier than Harley Quinn (Margot Robbie). She really takes the cake, scratch that, she destroys the cake and laughs her ass off while doing it! Margot Robbie gives an awesomely accurate performance as Harley Quinn! There’s really no other way to describe it.

Will Smith gives an okay performance as Deadshot. Still, I can’t help but think that he shouldn’t have turned down a chance to be in Independence Day Resurgence.

Jared Leto’s portrayal of the Joker is… different. And by different I don’t mean better or worse than Heath Ledger’s mindblowing Joker. Leto definitely brings something new to the role but I can’t quite say if I liked it or not. Though, he did make sure to keep some of the Joker’s mannerisms. Such as his iconic laugh and narcissistic personality. I would probably have to watch the movie a couple more times in order to really absorb Leto’s Joker. If you’re expecting him to remain true to the classic Joker we’re all used to… you will be disappointed.

Other notable characters include El Diablo, a guy who can create and manipulate fire, Killer Croc, a human/crocodile mutation, Captain Boomerang, a long time enemy of the Flash, and Enchantress, a super powerful witch. Enchantress is actually the super villain that the Squad is forced to confront. (That scene alone is quite intriguing.)

Overall, the story is decent but to me it just seems like a cool side story that got stretched out in order to fit a two hour running time. Still, it’s a very well made movie and I’m definitely looking forward to the sequel and many more sequels after that.

On a scale of 1 tamale to 10 tamales I give Suicide Squad 8 tamales! 😎

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Jason Bourne Movie Review

Jason Bourne is the 100th installment in the Bourne movie franchise. Well, it’s technically the fifth but it might as well be the 100th.

Matt Damon reprises his now infamous role as super strong, super smart Jason Bourne. It’s been ten years since he walked away from the agency that trained him to become a deadly weapon. When a former colleague, Nicky Parsons, tracks him down he is quickly pulled back into the highly classified world of CIA espionage.

I must admit that I really don’t remember much from the other Bourne movies and that’s no doubt the reason why I felt so lost during some scenes in which Bourne flashes back to important scenes from his past. Nevertheless, it’s still a pretty action packed movie.

One awesome action sequence in particular involves Jason Bourne chasing a bad guy down the Las Vegas strip. I won’t divulge all the details but some serious damage occurs.

Overall, I give Jason Bourne 8 out of 10 tamales!

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Bad Moms Movie Review

Mila Kunis plays Amy, an overworked, overstressed, underappreciated Mother who decides to join forces with two other stressed out moms (Kristen Bell, Kathryn Hahn) and become a “bad mom.”

Such a title entails cracking a lot of obscene jokes, trash talking, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, and not giving a damn about what other moms think. It’s a plan that works in their favor for a short while until their actions start affecting their kids’ lives.

I gotta admit I don’t believe Mila Kunis is that great of an actress. She’s good at reacting to certain situations in a somewhat believable manner but other than that her performance usually falls flat. However, I do believe she was great as Jackie Burkehart on That 70s Show.

Kathryn Hahn is the real star of this movie. She’s the badass quickwitted one of the three. Just about everything she says is hilarious! I laughed so much that I almost choked on my popcorn a couple of times.

Ultimately, Bad Moms is not a family friendly movie but it is a slight homage to all Moms.

I give it 4 out of 5 stars. ⭐⭐⭐⭐

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